Broken Hearts, Breaking Hearts, and the Ones Who Got Away (Part Five)

Mentioning either of these men in this series will seem odd, because they really aren’t worth mentioning however, their purpose will lead somewhere in the future.

I never really had deep feelings for either Joe or Kye. Both of these men were just happenstances within my life, but they do have meaning within my story.

I met Kye through MySpace (yeah, that MySpace). We happened to have some of the same acquaintances therefore our meeting was eventual.

Kye was a decent guy. He just had a drug problem. We had sex twice. One of those times really wasn’t sex I suppose, because he came before he ever got in, so there was that.

Joe was another man I met through one of my brother’s friends. He was much more interested in me than I was in him. At one point he rode a bicycle 23 miles to come to my house to see me. At that point I slept with him, and then told him to leave. I know this is pretty screwed up, but I didn’t really have any feelings for him, and didn’t want him to come over to begin with. He kept persisting on coming to my house, so I said okay. Then, whenever I found out that he rode a bike over, I felt almost obligated to sleep with him because of his efforts. I understand how idiotic this sounds, but women have often been conditioned for this. We have been led to believe that we owe men something. To be quite honest, I still struggle with these feelings of obligation to men, but I’ve gotten much better.

I felt like both of these men had some sort of feelings towards me. I’m not certain how strongly they felt about me, and this is probably because I wasn’t tuned into them. I felt more towards Kye, but he always had other things going on in his life, and I was just a standby friend to him. Because of this, he became back burner material to me. Plus, I was just never into the drug scene. Drugs weren’t my thing, and still aren’t. I smoked pot, and drank quite a bit, but that was it. I never liked anything else and preferred to stay away from it.

With Joe, I didn’t even really like his personality. He was an ass hole, obnoxious, and strange. I was happy to totally ignore him every opportunity I got.

About Courtney D Gutmanhttp://thegutmanchronicle.comThis is my story in short pieces. As long as I write something everyday, I know that I am accomplishing something. I will eventually separate "Ship Wrecked" into it's own area, and my regular posts somewhere else, but until I take the time to do that, they will be mixed in together. Hopefully it will be done within the next month or so.

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