Broken Hearts, Breaking Hearts, and the Ones Who Got Away (Part Three)

Moving out of a relationship with Sam, brought me into a relationship with Rick.

There is so much that I have to say about Rick, that I’m not sure that I’ll be able to consolidate it. I will attempt to do so, and add more on him in a different series.

I’d known Rick, long before I’d ever met Sam. I’d met Rick through one of my brother’s friends. Had this been a different life, and had I made better decisions, I might be with Rick today. However, this lifetime was not meant to be in a dedicated relationship to him.

Rick is probably one of the gentlest souls I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. He was kind and caring, but lost. He would often make the statement to me that all he wanted was to be happy. I recall asking him multiple times if he was happy, and since he was not, asking him what would make him happy. I’m not sure that Rick even knew what would make him happy.

Rick’s lost soul, like millions of people within the United States, brought him to drugs. He was an opioid addict. I’m not entirely certain who or what brought him to drugs, but I do know that they never made his life any better. He – well, we – ended up losing a dear friend to a heroin overdose, and I believe that was the beginning of Rick cleaning up his act, and attempting to get his life into order.

Rick and I decided to live together for a period of time. That was not a very happy time for either of us. Rick was at the height of his addiction, and he ended up getting arrested after I called the police one evening because he went off the rails one 4th of July night, and jumped out of my car while we were driving down the interstate on our way home from a friend’s get together. He ended up getting tazed by the police, and his father had to go down to the jail and bail him out.

I’m quite certain that was beginning of the end for us. There was simply one problem. Rick and I had a child involved.

The story of my daughter is a complicated one. But, this is part where I will say, that this story will have to wait. I still, even after eight years, have not fully processed this story well enough. I can tell you Rick’s heart is one that I broke. I did it not so intentionally, but it was a terrible heartbreak. I know that’ll I’ll pay for it at some point.

About Courtney D Gutmanhttp://thegutmanchronicle.comThis is my story in short pieces. As long as I write something everyday, I know that I am accomplishing something. I will eventually separate "Ship Wrecked" into it's own area, and my regular posts somewhere else, but until I take the time to do that, they will be mixed in together. Hopefully it will be done within the next month or so.

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